Sep 27 2007
Emotional Abuse Against Children
Children are a wonderful gift, so it upsets me when I hear parents say truly awful things to their children. While most parents gasp in disbelief at despicable acts of physical and sexual abuse, emotional abuse can often go unnoticed. The outward signs are more difficult to pick. The behaviour is hard to describe (especially for a child) and they would probably not be aware this is not normal. The results, however, can be devastating to a developing psyche.
I am not an expert in such abuse. I was (and am) blessed with wonderful, supportive parents. Nor am I a perfect parent. But I do try to be very conscious of what I say, and how I say it, to my children.
“You’ll never amount to anything”
“Why can’t you be more like your sister”
“Look at what you’ve done to me”
“Your friends are no good”
While it is certainly our place to guide our children, and instruct them about appropriate behaviour, it is NOT our place to:
- overly criticise
- humiliate, belittle or ridicule
- terrorise (e.g. ranting tirade, breaking things, threats of violence or un-named consequences)
- withdraw love and affection
- manipulate or brainwash
- invalidate (dismiss) their feelings
- use them as a substitute for what’s missing in our life
- blame them for what’s not “right” with our life
Usually verbal abuse is a large part of emotional (or psychological) abuse. However actions (recoiling), or no action (ignoring) and non-verbal communication (the “stare”, “glare”) are also a large part.
Please treat children with respect. Nurture, encourage, support and love them unconditionally so that they can grow up to be happy, confident individuals.
Greatest Love of All performed by Whitney Houston
I believe that children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be
I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I will live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity
Resources
Kids Help Line Phone – 1800 55 1800 (in Australia)
Imaginif Child Protection Blog
How to Deal with Emotionally Abusive Parents
How to Forgive an Abusive Parent
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Today is “Blog Against Abuse” Day, organised by Blogcatalog. Badges are also available.
7 Responses to “Emotional Abuse Against Children”
I wrote about child abuse in light of two very brutal killings of children in Malaysia recently. Also included some statistics on child abuse, and what we can do to prevent child abuse.
I’d love to invite you to participate in the discussion
this is what mom did and still does to me…. im glad i found this page… at least im moving out in two weeks.
Hi Pelf
They are two very sad cases, indeed.
Hi Mark
I don’t know if the following articles will be of any help to you
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Emotionally-Abusive-Parents
http://www.wikihow.com/Forgive-an-Abusive-Parent
I wish you all the best for your future.
An insightful post, Meg. Thank you.
Too often adults feel that if they aren’t physically hurting their children, then everything is fine. Emotional abuse is devastating, the scars just aren’t as visible.
Hi Karen,
Thanks for your comment. I absolutely agree.
Meg thanks for joining the blog against abuse day and choosing child abuse as your issue.
Additional thanks for linking to our Imaginif Child Protection became Serious Business blog.
Megan
I am always happy to link out to your excellent resource.