May 11 2008
But you’re not my Mother…
Guys, I’m going to give you an unsolicited word of advice here…
Granted, your wife is not your mother, even if at times she accidentally counts you when someone asks how many children she has.
Granted, your wife is not your mother, even IF she does cook for you, clean up after you, do your laundry and all those little things mum used to do when you were little.
Granted, you don’t “owe” your wife a present on Mother’s Day – anniversary, birthday and Christmas – yes, they are a given (even if you do forget).
HOWEVER……
In the secret land of motherhood, if your wife has borne your children, until such time as your children are old enough (read “gainfully employed”), the responsibility for ensuring that your children’s mother is suitably “spoiled” on Mother’s Day rests on your shoulders.
Home made cards and pasta necklaces are very much appreciated. As are the crap delightful trinkets purchased at the school’s Mother’s Day fundraiser guilt alleviator stall.
But seriously, there are two three things you really should do (and I don’t profess to be speaking on behalf of all mothers here).
- Buy a present on behalf of your children that shows you’ve put at least a little bit of thought into the process, and definitely steer clear of stereo-typical “mother” stuff (i.e. kitchen or laundry appliances – UNLESS specifically requested). The value of the gift isn’t really important, it IS the thought that counts.
- Let your wife decide what she wants to do with her day off (apart from visit her own mum, if that’s the case). Frequently this will include the obligatory sleep-in, relief from all domestic duties (especially cooking), and “mum time” (like curling up with a book, or watching a video/dvd/t.v. show)
- Contrary to the fact that this is Mother’s Day, often what she feels like doing most is being not at all like a “mother”, if that makes sense (i.e. relief from what she does the other 364 days a year).
Anyway, happy Mother’s Day to all the mums out there, and please let me know how you would choose to spend your day.
12 Responses to “But you’re not my Mother…”
My wife decided that Mother’s Day starts at 6pm the previous day, given all that she had to endure during pregnancy.
I never once celebrated Mothers Day until I came to Australia. I am slowly getting my mind around it. The kids are into it, so I am.
Good advice all the same.
Colin Campbell’s last blog post..Come on Down for Photo Hunt
Wow Colin, what a brilliant idea. Given I was in labour for 38 hours with my first, and technically that is a working week, Mothers Day needs to last a WHOLE WEEK!
Now to get MPS off his arse to make me breakfast and back the present truck in.
Happy Mothers Day Meg, hope you are spoiled rotten. You deserve it!
Smootches.
Kelley’s last blog post..You know you are addicted to blogging when…
well done Meg!! I think I need to copy and send this to my hubby. heehee
oh.
Happy Mother’s day to you too luv
Yes my husband pulls out that line every year but my kids are old enough now to spoil me. My daughter cleaned the kitchen today and it was a real mess because we’d had friends over the night before… I very much appreciated that!
But the advantage of him not buying me a present is that I don’t have to do anything for him come father’s day. And that’s good because I’ve got his birthday and our wedding anniversary in that month already and don’t need a third thing.
CB
x
cellobella’s last blog post..OMG! I forgot it was Mother’s Day!
This is so true…but for one major oversight…
Even if the kids are gainfully employed and have left the nest they will be so preoccupied with life that a not-so-subtle hint is still required from the father/stepfather/partner of the mother to the children in question.
There is so much to be gained by the said partner if Mother’s Day is full of mother spoiling activities and so much to be lost and endured by the said partner if no such activities and spoiling occurs.
It is really in the partner’s best interest to ensure that the mother figure of the family is treated royally… the returns will be generous and ongoing!
Leonie of Moon Haven’s last blog post..Mother’s Day
Great post Meg – and very true.
We don’t do the present thing so much, but definitely numbers 2 and 3 on your list!
Hope you had a great day!
Suze’s last blog post..A Bit Of This And That
I’m truly blessed. I have a husband who appreciates me and thanks me regularly for being a good mother to his children (his and mine – we are a blended family). He always buys dinner on the evening of Mother’s Day (and my birthday) so I don’t have to cook and he helps me set the dining room table and get things ready – we have all our children (5 daughters) and the husbands of those who are married come to our home for a family meal. I’m not left to do it all and in fact, do very little on these two special days of the year.
He also contributes even now towards the present the girls want to buy for me, or he will get me something himself with a lovely card thanking me for what I do in our family. He also buys me flowers.
My husband is a gem and I’m never left in doubt of his appreciation for my role in his life and that of our family. I wish it could be the same for all mothers.
Kathie M. Thomas’s last blog post..Worth More Than Rubies – a presentation
amen to that, sister. Now if you just tell my husband exactly that, I’d appreciate it, mkay?
tiff’s last blog post..Throwing out a line.
Very, very sage advice there! Men should follow it, it will really earn them some brownie points.
Nicole Price’s last blog post..Free Online Data Backup
*claps … very true …especially #2 & #3
When will men learn
Babyamore’s last blog post..I am finished …
Very good post! I hope you got more than pasta necklaces for Mothers’ Day!
kristarella’s last blog post..New theme: Clean Shave