Dipping into the Blogpond

My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

‘Guess what I learned in HSIE,
that’s taught by Mr Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights”.

It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with a crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.

Don’t preach about your morals,
like your Mother did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,
And that’s illegal too!

Mum, I have these children’s rights,
and it really rocks,
so you’d better treat me right,
or I’ll be calling DoCS’.

Mum’s Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was
to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn’t let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he’s messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
at the local Vinnies Store.
I told him, ‘Pick out all you want,
there’s shirts & pants galore.

I’ve called and checked with DoCS
who said that they didn’t care,
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of Nike Airs.

I’ve cancelled that appointment
to take your driver’s test.
DoCS is unconcerned
so I’ll decide what’s best.’

I said ‘No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own school lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
and wait till dinner time.
We’re having liver and onions,
a favourite dish of mine.’

He asked ‘Can I please rent a movie,
to watch on my VCR?’
‘Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tyres on my car.

I also rented out your room,
you’ll take the couch instead.
It seems DoCS requires,
just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won’t be trendy now,
I’ll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.

I’m selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the “Parents Bill of Rights”,
It’s in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying?
The mother cruelly mocks.
Who is going to help you now?
Instead of your precious DoCS?’

This arrived via email today. Unfortunately source unknown, but it made me laugh. I took poetic license to Ausralianise it a bit .