Dec 02 2007

I Survived!

Published by at 9:52 pm under Humour,random

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never give
without the shopping I despised
But I spent so many nights
thinking how did I go wrong
I grew strong
and I stopped crapping on

and so I’m back
from the shopping mall
I just decided that in one day
I was going to do it all
I should have been more organised
I should have made a shopping plan
Yet I did it in one day
shopping for all the clan

Go on now go and have a bitch
’cause I got my shopping done
just like a frigging witch
weren’t you the one who tried to block the bloody aisle
but I got passed you
with just a ‘scuse me and a smile
Oh no, not I
I survived
as long as I know how to shop
my kids won’t be deprived
I’ve got my credit card maxed
without even feeling taxed
and I survived
Yes I survived!

It took all the strength I had
to get out the door
kept trying hard to avoid
the thing that I deplore
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to sigh
Now I can hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I’m not that shopping phobic person
still despising you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expected to see me here
but I was out
conquering my fear…

This was inspired by Megan at Imaginif, in response to a StumbleUpon outage – it’s obviously sung to the tune of Gloria Gaynor’s “I will Survive“.

Christmas Shopping

13 responses so far

13 Responses to “I Survived!”

  1. # kimon 02 Dec 2007 at 10:50 pm

    Thanks.. I can So see ……Hugo Weaving stamping his foot to this…
    have a great christmas Meg xoxo
    cheers Kim

  2. # Megon 02 Dec 2007 at 10:53 pm

    In a special Christmas frock! Thanks Kim – you too, but I’ll be seeing you around before then :)

  3. # Leeon 03 Dec 2007 at 12:58 am

    LOL you made my decaf soy coffee come out of my nose. No more reading here with beverages in hand.

  4. # Lighteningon 03 Dec 2007 at 8:28 am

    I LOVE it!!!!! Now I’ll be bopping to that tune all day. Which is PERFECT considering in around 2 hours I’ll be inundated by excited 4 year olds for DS’s Lightning McQueen birthday party! :-)

    P.S. Have you seriously finished Christmas shopping??????

  5. # Megan over at Imaginifon 03 Dec 2007 at 9:10 am

    lol…..it would seem that shopping traumatised you to the degree that you have dissociated into melody. Meg, I am a therapist you know – I can offer you a free telephone session.

    Shopping should be banned! Singing should be mandatory.

    Well done Meg, you’ve started my day with a chuckle.

  6. # jenon 03 Dec 2007 at 9:39 am

    Well done. Your post is much more exciting than mine about an almost equivalent tale. Unfortunately I didn’t get all mine done, but it’s nearly there which is an accomplishment.

  7. # LJPon 03 Dec 2007 at 10:50 am

    My laughs just gave way to fear – it reminds me I haven’t done my own Christmas shopping!

  8. # Kelleyon 03 Dec 2007 at 2:37 pm

    *gaffaw* that was brilliant Meg!!!

    I went Christmas shopping today…. and got some presents….. but also came back with MORE DECORATIONS and another freaking tree…..

    MPS is gunna kill me. But Scarlett needs her bathroom tree.

  9. # Megon 03 Dec 2007 at 6:39 pm

    Lee – oooh visual *TMI* Don’t worry, it’s a rare occurrence 😉

    Lightening – seriously! Hope the party went well – oh, there’s an update, will have to mosey over…. see you shortly

    Megan – seriously? Is that a coping strategy? Wow, there’s some really messed up (but rich) songwriters out there! Glad you got a chuckle – thanks for the inspiration.

    Jen – it sounds like you made a good dent in it. Ah, you reminded me about Christmas cards – everyone is still waiting from last year (what a Grinch, I just never got around to it). Still, I might find I receive substantially fewer cards this year as a result. Truth be told, last year’s are still hanging on my blinds!

    LJP – Best of luck :)

    Kelley – thanks mate. LOL, I look forward to reading MPS’ reaction and the latest pic 😀

  10. # Carnival of Australia : Mad Goat Ladyon 05 Dec 2007 at 5:49 am

    […] presents I Survived! posted at Dipping into the Blogpond, saying, “An ode to Christmas shopping to the tune of […]

  11. # Kayon 05 Dec 2007 at 11:43 am

    Oh I love it 😀

    I have to go out soon to suss out a present for my mum (her birthday is in February) and I’m not looking forward to it. I’m one of those crazy people who shops way in advance for things and had my Christmas shopping done ages ago *hehe*

    I do sympathise with anyone who still has to get through their list….the shops were insane even in October! 😮

  12. # Megon 05 Dec 2007 at 11:47 am

    Thanks Kay :) Seriously though, wouldn’t you be better off waiting until January to buy the present (just this once)? Think of all the sales! I think shopping is insane any time of the year 😉

  13. # Sueblimelyon 06 Dec 2007 at 2:35 am

    I think the bulk of my Christmas shopping will be done in one fell swoop again – at one of the open all night shopping centres in Melbourne. My 2am sorte last year was so productive – no crowds or long lines. It is cutting it fine but at least I did not overspend as I normally do if I start shopping early – I had my list and stuck to it.

    I am glad to see you came back from your traumatic shopping trip relatively unscathed, Meg.